I wonder if it’s fair to make you carry this weight.
Are your beautiful bones ready to hold me?
I already feel too heavy.
Like if I lean too fast or fall to easy you’ll crumble under the pressure.
I have always been too much to handle.
Because I came to you already broken.
With a misunderstanding of the beauty of the universe as crooked.
Bent and twisted.
Out of place.
Lopsided and biased towards the humans who do this better than me.
And I’ll try to tip them in my favor but all the power in the universe can’t undo what I’ve already taught myself to be.
So I try to unlearn, begging for a re-do.
This wont be like the other times.
If I’m at least honest with you maybe I can break the habit of pushing away.
So I tell you I hate liars.
Which twinges accuracy because I am one.
I forgot to tell you that part.
So I was a liar from the start.
But I learned to know you at a distance.
Never knowing how holy I could hold sweet-nothings via texts.
And whispers through phone lines as I fell asleep with you on the phone for the first time.
1200 miles away.
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